The Welsh Language Board recently made the stupid claim that kids should speak more Welsh outside school (see link). Load of crap? You bet. Besides which the Welsh Language Board is bound to make such a claim – it is a Board specifically set up to help the Welsh language. What else would they do? Show it up for what it is, and ultimately lose its Council funding? The truth hurts, particularly in this case.
But while the Welsh language is no doubt being helped by this proposterousness that I'm paying for, the poor kids who are forced to learn it are being massively hindered. Schools stopped teaching Latin, despite the advantages it brought (which Welsh doesn’t have, such as teaching the roots of many English words), because it was finally recognised as obsolete. As its presence in school lessons died out, so too did its usage. And rightly so: why learn and use an irrelevant language, when there are more important things to learn? It’s a bit like young children learning words like “moo-moo” and then having to re-learn the word “cow.” What a complete waste of time[1].
Welsh should clearly be taken down the same route of oblivion as Latin. Don’t get me wrong – Welsh is an interesting language that has, in the past, been very important in Wales. It’s just that it isn’t very important now, except for a small bunch of ageing crusty academics whose job it is to research the language’s past. It’s also only the Welsh who have ever used the bloody thing. And even then its very continued practice is bloody-minded.
There are four possible reasons for speaking Welsh, and they’re all crap reasons to continue recognising it to the point of forcedly teaching it in schools throughout Wales:
- The Welsh still speak Welsh.
To be more specific, stubborn and behind-the-times minorities of North and West Wales speak it. But they can also speak English. The only reason I can see to insist on speaking Welsh is to exclude outsiders from conversations. And from what I’ve heard of the North Welsh, this is quite a believable explanation. Sadly, it is this mindset that, to greater extremes, results in ideals such as those of the BNP. - The Welsh government[2] requires (in most branches, at least) that its employees ably speak good Welsh.
But why require them to? The Welsh speak even better English, on the whole. It is so much more important for them to practice English for a variety of reasons, including relations with the rest of the world, business dealings and literature. - People speak Welsh because the Welsh government encourages them to.
But why encourage them to? Does Welsh matter ? It isn’t even as if “speaking Welsh is a form of Welsh pride” is a good argument. Its only function is to exclude outsiders, as I’ve already said. That breeds nationalism to the point of disliking other nations. It’s also a sign of vanity rather than pride, because it’s a desperate attempt to cling on to one of the only distinct things that the Welsh have, in order that they can feel better than everyone else in some way. The word “pride” is a dangerous word to use because of its present-day synonyms, and it is largely best avoided. - It’s important that children are taught languages at school, and Welsh is the natural first choice because it’s the language of its people.
I don’t think this argument is good enough. If it’s so important to teach a language, teach a language that is of use in the wider world, such as French, German or Spanish. As far as "language of the people" goes, something should not be taught simply because it is. Using terms such as "of the people" usually gets backing because it subconsciously evokes a sense of 'pride' (read: 'vanity'), and it is not in itself conducive to healthy reasoning.
It’s not even as if the Welsh government understands the overriding importance of English in the world at large, since English is taught as a second language in Welsh schools. How closed-minded can you get? Perhaps students should sue for the many hours lost to learning something that isn’t useful, which could ultimately be detrimental to finding a job due to lack of relevant skills. How often have you seen a job spec that says, “Applicant must speak and write fluent Welsh?” even if you have, it’s bound to originate from North Wales or be a job spec for the Welsh government, which is even then a needless requirement. In the wider scheme of things, it’s as ridiculous as a job spec that says, “Applicant must speak and write fluent Latin.” Unless the job is for a crusty academic specifically studying Latin language or literature, of course. If not, which you must admit is a near certainty, then let's replace Welsh with something better - such as the sciences, philosophy or the arts - and instead incorporate it into history lessons, or something.
To summarise, my argument is this: It is stupid and harmful to propagate Welsh for the sake of propagating Welsh, which is ultimately what is happening regardless of how you look at it. Sure, it’s a huge and integral part of Wales’s history. So let’s consign it to History (in more ways than one), move on, and stop wasting time. There are more important things to learn. Lets clear the dead wood and rejuvenate the Welsh culture with more worthwhile pursuits. It seems that the Welsh people are catching on to this fact (see addenda).
Or perhaps we should all abandon English as well, and learn Mandarin instead. After all, at least twice as many people speak Mandarin as English.
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Addendum (18.08.06): It appears that, despite the Welsh Assembly insists on recruiting fluent Welsh speakers, it uses automated online translation sources for its Welsh road signs (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/4794753.stm?ls). Couldn't they have used at least one of these people to spell-check a road sign, rather than wasting resources even more blatantly?
Addendum (16.01.16): Hooray, ten years later, someone actually speaks out! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-38531155
[1] There is, of course, the argument that it is easier for babies to speak “baby speak” than the more “adult” word forms. I would argue that it’s better for kids to have a stab at the latter as soon as possible and initially get it wrong but continually improve, rather than to confuse them with what amounts to two languages. In either case, the case in favour of Welsh does not have this excuse at its disposal.
[2] Obviously, Wales doesn’t have a Government in the sense of the British Government, but then that’s why I didn’t use a capital ‘G’. I intend to imply a central elected political body in general. Perhaps the word “Assembly” would have been more appropriate.
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